Movie time...

Hello readers. according to my last post i was supposed to go out with my best friend over the weekend. unfortunately it didnt happen. my boyfriends car isnt working at the moment, but we are going to get it worked on today. so i wasnt able to drive to my friends house and i sure as hell wasnt going to take the bus at night. my neighborhood isnt very safe at night so i avoid doing that as much as i can. i have had to do it but dont like to. my friend lives a little far and she ended up having an issue also so she couldnt drive to me to pick me up. although if it was the other way around she would never take the bus if needed, and dont even think of asking her too. she still had a reservation for the restaurant and another friend of hers was invited so i told her to go ahead and go out. i said that we can go out another time.

That other time is today. we made plans to go out to the movies tonight. we plan on seeing a movie that just came out this weekend called Precious. i have seen the previews for it and it looks good. its based on a novel called Push written by Sapphire. whats funny is that i have a friend nicknamed precious and he will be going with us tonight to see the movie. we'll have some dinner also. hopefully not at the same place as i mentioned in a recent post. i'm over that place, food isnt great and over priced.

Well anyway, i will be going to bed now. i got off work not long ago but didnt feel sleepy right away like i usually do so i stayed up for a little while to check some email, write this post, and do some other stuff. so i am feeling sleepy now and will be going to get some sleep. i hope i dont get interrupted by phone calls. i ususally do even though everyone knows i work at night and need to sleep during the day. i hate that. anyway i have things to do later so i'm jumping into bed now. i hope everyone has a good day.

Birthdays and work...

Well today as my title says is a birthday. no not mine. my day isnt until April. actually today is my best friends birthday and my sisters birthday, well half sister. they both usually will want me to spend time with them on their birthdays. it rarely works out that way. my sis is like twice my age, she was already an adult by the time i was born so we never grew up together. dont get me wrong we get along just fine, we have no problems. usually i might see her for a little bit on her birthday or within a few days after. i'll buy her a card or a little gift too.

I honestly would prefer to hang out with my best friend. i have know her for like 15 years now. we went to high school together from the beginning through graduation. we went to college together. well she already got her degree. i am still trying to finish. anyway, i havent been able to see anyone today. i will be going out to dinner with my friend tomorrow night. i have to work tonight so cant go out. it works out ok. another friend of ours is off tonight but working tomorrow so they will go out tonight and i will go out with my friend tomorrow night. she picked a Hawaii style type of restaurant and made a reservation for us. she wanted to do something kinda different. we havent eaten in a place like that before so it should be fun. i hope i can get some pics to show you guys.

I was hoping to get the day off or switch my shift but my hours have recently been cut back so i couldnt do it. no one else could do it because now everyone has to hold on to the hours they have. my bosses are trying to save money, not so much because business is a little slow, but just to save money. i understand businesses wanting to save money. i just hate it when they save money by cutting hours or pay. i'm glad that my pay wasnt cut but if they left the hours alone and cut the pay it would end up being the same thing. well one good thing is that the owners of the business are making the manager do 2 hours at the front desk everyday that she works. my friend and boyfriend agree with me that its great. i think so because its annoying how she complains about stuff we do everyday, makes annoying memos for everything, and can get bitchy over nothing. she can be nice but has that other side to her, i think you guys know what i mean. this is why i love working the night shift at this job. i dont have to deal with the manager or a lot of people.

Well anyway i have to head out to work now. i'll try to come back tomorrow and tell you about my night out with my friend. have a good friday night everyone.

Last night...

Last night i finally had a chance to see Michael Jackson's This Is It movie. i wanted to see it the opening day but wasnt able to make it. i also wanted to see it with a friend. so my best friend and i made plans last week to see it last night on my night off from work. she had been out of town for a while so i also waited until she came back. the movie was great. i loved it. poor Michael Jackson. its so sad what happened to him. i'll always miss and him and remember him. his music is unforgettable. we love you Michael.

When my friend and i got to the movie theater we first brought the tickets then we went to dinner. she picked me up late (she usually is a little late for everything) and we missed the original time we want to see the movie so we got tickets for the next available time. the dinner was just ok. i hate restaurants that charge more than the food is worth and the food isnt all that great. i have eaten in this place before and i know better but my friend loves this place for some reason. i just ordered an appetizer because its much cheaper and the appetizers are pretty decent. i later had a soda and one of those chocolate chip cookie ice cream sandwiches in the movie, yummy.

I also noticed in the previews and posters on the theater walls a lot of new movies that will be coming out that look really good. i cant for the next big one to come out. i love going to the movies. i dont know what the next movie i will see is but i'll let you guys know. it'll probably be New Moon. i know a lot of friends that want to see. i will probably join them.

Afterwards...

Hey everyone. sorry to say that i actually didnt go to my friends party. there ended up not being a party to go to. there werent alot of people going to being with and some of those people ended up not being able to go anymore at the last minute. my friend has 1 friend that lives near her and she wanted to do something. the other friends that could go out wanted to go clubbing or bar hopping and my friend wasnt in the mood for that so she, her husband, and that 1 friend went out to dinner. then they went back to my friends house, watched movies, and gave out candy to trick or treators. my friend ended up not even wearing her costume that she brought. she ended up returning it.

I had called my co-worker and she ended up not going out either. she had her costume and everything ready. she told me that her husband didnt feel much like partying. even she lost her mood also. i even asked if she was going to go to our job to check out the party there. she told me no. most of my friends ended up the same way, not really doing anything.

As for me and my boyfriend, as i said we didnt get to go to the party, which was actually ok since it was a far drive. we didnt stop by my job either. he said he really just wanted to spend some time with me. but when he got to my place right after seeing me he was the first one to get into my candy. lol. it was ok, i didnt even have any trick or treators at all. my boyfriend said that for many people the spirit of halloween is gone. i guess in a way he is right. anyway after a few minutes we left to get some fast food and came back home. we ate our food, watched tv, talked, ate candy, and relaxed the rest of the night. it was nice and i liked it. of course some one ate most of the chocolate candies that i brought, lol. oh well.

I hope all of you had a good time last night. i will be reading your blogs soon to see whats going on. as for me i have to get going. i need to get ready to head out to work, blah. lol. not in mood to go when ive been home all day relaxing but gotta make that money. later readers.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

Happy Halloween everyone. i love Halloween. i'm eating some candy right now as i type this post. most of the time halloween to me is mostly eating candy, watching scary movies, dressing up in costume, and preferably going to a party. i didnt get to buy a costume this year but thats ok. i have some old halloween stuff that i am going to use along with some black makeup that i brought, wear all black, and i'll be good to go.

My friend that had the 80's party is also having a halloween party tonight. maybe its just because i'm feeling relaxed now but i am almost not in the mood to go but i do want to go. i wish she didnt live so far from me. that would make it easier too. even my job is having a little halloween party too. i wouldnt mind stopping by my jobs party if one of my co-workers (we are also friends) stops by. if she doesnt then i wont bother, but i'll see how things go.

I havent had a trick or treater in years but yet every year i cannot resist buying just 1 little bag of candy. ok i might have brought 2 yesterday. lol. i miss trick or treating. you know i always think that someone might knock on my door. even if they dont, thats fine, i'll just eat the candy myself over time. my boyfriend might help me with that activity, lol. for any of you parents out there that take your kids out trick or treating make sure you get some candy for yourselves too. adults can have fun and eat candy today too.

One thing i hate about halloween is those people that take it too serious and say that it is an evil day. whatever, get a life, have some fun, and eat some candy. they must need the sugar rush. people need to do things that they enjoy more often. people should be happy in life. i'll admit that it can get hard but do what you can. dont let some other unhappy person tell you different.

Well everyone thats my post for today. i'll be back sometime soon to let you all know how my Halloween night went. Happy Halloween to all of you again. Eat candy, have fun, take care, and be safe tonight.

New things going on...

Hello readers. i haven't posted in a little while. i have got to post more often but everything seems to get in the way. don't worry, when i win the lotto i will have all the time in the world to post. hmm, now if i can only remember to buy a damn ticket, lol. anyway, lately i haven't really had much to post but today is a good day to do so, so here i am.

For starters, today is the first day of some nice cool weather here. i have long awaited that. i like cooler weather or sweater weather as some might say. it felt so good when i went out today. but now its starting to get a bit cold since its night time. oh that's another thing, today i got a chance to go out and have fun.

Well the first thing i did today was go to a chocolate festival at a major mall in my area. yes i said chocolate. yummy. basically it was employees from different restaurants and bakeries, and other places like that. they had tables set up with all kinds of chocolate stuff. every table was different, there were cakes, brownies, cupcakes, and other stuff. there was even a table with a chocolate fountain just like in the picture above., unfortunately there were no free samples but the treats didnt cost much and the money went to a childrens charity, so that's good, and tasty.

I also went to an antique market today. lots of nice stuff but nothing special that i really wanted to buy. thats ok. maybe next time i will find something.

On another note my friend that had the 80's party is also going to have a halloween party. i love halloween parties. i cant wait to go.

Some other good news is that my boyfriend is working on getting his own business. he actually has 2 ideas that are in the works. basically he can go and partner up with a friend and do one business or go on his own and get this other business. i wont say what for now since nothing is set yet but you will be informed when the time comes. he is still working on it but i am proud of him. whichever one he does i hope it works out and i will support him as much as i can.

Other than this i went to the store and brought a few things. basically i took care of some errands. i was hoping to do some clothes shopping too but got a headache and lost the mood to do it. thats ok, i'll probably do that next weekend.

Well that was my day. other than that i have mostly been working, and i go out with my man or hang out with a friend when i can. i'm hoping to do that more often since i have 2 days off of work a week now. oh speaking of work, a few days ago on the 15th i hit the 6 month mark at my job. i'm happy about that and i hope it continues. work is going ok, its slow now but that's actually good for me. less annoying people to deal with.

Ok everyone thats it for now. i will be going now since i do have to work tonight so i need to get ready. the last thing i want to do on a cold night is work but gotta make that money. i would rather stay home under my blanket and watch tv. anyway i hope everyone has a good night. let me know how the weather is in your areas also, i'm just curious. :)

I love parties!

This weekend i went to a friends birthday party, she had an 80's based theme. what a great time it was. i havent been to a party in a long time. my boyfriend and i had so much fun. some friends werent able to make it which was sad but its ok, maybe next time. i didnt get to dress up as 80's as i wanted to but i did what i could. i did the make up, put hairspray in my hair, did what i could with some old clothes and i was good to go. you should have seen one couple that went to the party. they went all out with the clothes. now my boyfriend wants us to do a theme for our birthdays too which i think is a great idea. i wish we could have done the 80's theme since we love the 80's and our birthdays are only 2 days apart, but oh well, our friend got to it first, lol.

My friend made food, had 80's music ready, liquor and beer ready to go, and she was dressed up as well. we all ate, talked, laughed, dancing to 80's music with 80's dance moves, and rocked out to a Guitar Hero video game later in the evening. i am so happy that i went. i even told my friend that she should have a halloween party. she said she might if she can. i really hope she does, i would definitely get a costume for that. i felt like a kid again.

Some people had to leave the party early for work or church. the other dressed up couple and my boyfriend and i were the last ones left. they left just before we did. as we were about to leave with them my friend asked us to stay to chat. so we did but i had no idea that it would mostly be a sad conversation. she talked to us about financial troubles she was having. it wasnt good. she was hoping we could help her. in reality my boyfriend and i can help a little but it wouldnt be enough. she needs more than what we can do for her. i can only do so much with hurting myself.

It sucks but she has known about this problem for a while and told me nothing before when she would have needed less money. i think she felt embarassed. we talked to her and gave her some ideas of what she could do to get some more money. she needed some time to think although she doesnt have much time. thats the bad news but good news is that she called me not long ago and told me that she was able to work something out and was able to do a payment plan of some kind. now at least she wont need so much money at once and my boyfriend and i wont have to lend her money. this is something she can handle now. although she doesnt want to, she is going to take one of our suggestions to sell some stuff and make some extra money. that should help her out more. i am happy for her that it worked out.

As for me, i dont know. i have been wanting to take care of my debt for a while now but its hard to do. there just isnt enough money for it all. i would love to consolidate everything into 1 payment and have my debt taken care of. i dont really want to do bankruptcy but i dont know where to start or what to do really. i heard different things from different people. if any of my readers know what i could do or have sme suggestions that could help me i would love that.

Never Forget...

8 years today. can you believe that it has been 8 years. what a horrible day. i could not believe it when it happen. i grew up in Mahanttan so this hurt me too just like any other New Yorker still living there. Well actually this hurt many people around the world. who the hell would have thought 2 planes would go through these buildings and, well we know the rest.

i remember exactly where i was at that time. around the same time in the morning when this happened i was driving to school. i didnt hear anything on the radio because it wasnt turned on. when i got to school i walked to the main building, which is where my class was, and stopped in the lounge where the big tv is and sofas where students would sit and chill. i saw a big crowd gathered around the tv and i wondered what they were watching. thats when i saw it. it was all over the news. i was shocked and so was everyone else around me.

not long after that the school closed down for the rest of the week. i remember how as soon as the announcement came over the speaker everyone went to the garages and parking lots and busses t go home. i did it too but wasnt in as big a hurry only because of the amount of people leaving at the same time. oh man it took forever to get outta there and on the street, listening to the radio the whole way home. once i was home i turned on the tv, called my best friend and most of the rest of t day went like that. talking to my friends on the phone and watching the news.

I'm back...

I am finally back. i know some of my readers have wondered where i was. i'm sorry that it has been a while since i posted anything. i have been trying to keep up to date on my readers posts when i had a little time but have just had no energy to write for myself. work has had me working like crazy lately. overtime has been thrown at me without even being asked. the co-workers that relieve my shift are always late. the co-workers that i relieve never do all their work and leave me stuck with it. i have not gotten much sleep lately either. i've had alot to do lately. my family has been bothering me for anything and everything lately and have been asking me for money since i'm working. i have friends with issues that i have been trying to help with if i can. and the past week i was sick with a cold and have just finally gotten over it, well mostly. my nose is still a little stuffy but i'm good.

The past month has been crazy. i finally have 2 days off this week and the first one was yesterday. it felt so good to get some sleep and recharge. my next day off will be saturday. i cant wait. my boyfriend and i got back in touch not long ago with an old friend we lost touch with years ago. we'll all be going out for lunch that day. and another good friend of ours will be in town for a week later this month. i cant wait for that too. i dont get to go out with friends too often. when i wasnt working before i could barely go out because i didnt have the money but had all the time in the world. now that i'm working i dont have the time but have the money. but for now of course i'm happy to be working and making the money that i need.

Also its hard to work 6 nights a week. i might get 2 days off again soon but its hard to say when. the only reason i have 2 days off this week is because some new people got hired and whenever new people get hired at my job the schedules temporarily change. unfortunately new people got hired because two of my co-workers quit for different reasons and another one, who i became friends with, got fired. why exactly, i dont know, everyone shares the same idea of why. i know she feels terrible about it and doesnt really want to talk about it. we think it has alot to do with the head of front desk getting favoritism and talking shit about my friend so she can move ahead in the job. but my friend will be ok. i'll support her as much as i can. i know what its like to get fired and it sucks. some shady things have been going on at my job that i dont like so i'll be starting to look for another job. i wont be leaving this one until another one comes up though. after not having worked so long i'm not leaving my job now to possibly end up the same way. i wanna be smart about what i do.

On another note i'm trying to deal with school as well. its annoying when you try to contact the offices and try to get answers but no one will help you. i love being in school and want my degree but with out money i cant afford to go. i was cut off from financial aid a while back. well i am saving some good money from my job so hopefully i will have enough to pay off the old debt they say i owe them and go back to school for next semester.

Well this is what has been going on with me lately. it feels good to blog again. it may seem all bad but its not really all that bad right now. theres always times of craziness in everyones life. as i said i will be going out more and doing more things soon so i will definitely be doing much better. i hope all my readers are doing well and i will be catching up on your posts in a little while. for now i will be going to get a little more rest and relaxation before going to work tonight. i will be blogging again soon.

6 things that make me happy...

I have been tagged by Ebony Haywood at Sizzling Publications. I am supposed to name 6 things that make me happy. I also tag all of my readers to do this if you would like to. Here we go:

1) relaxing with some good tv or movie at home. and, of course, some good snacks.

2) talking walks in the park or on the beach. i especially love to walk on the beach at night when the moon is out.

3) hanging out with my boyfriend and/or friends.

4) having time to read/write or do some drawing and painting. sometimes i like to do crafts. creative stuff basically.

5) playing with my pet dog. well actually my moms dog, i dont have a pet right now. my moms dog is cute and very playful. i always have fun playing with her.

6) driving. when theres no traffic. i like to put on the radio to a relaxing station and just drive. i dont know why really. doing this just relaxs me. i feel free and very much independent when i do.

Yay, another award!

I just received this award by Kathie @ my net finds. She has a great blog and i would suggest you check her out.

"I made this award for the special bloggers who take the time to not only read my posts, but also leave comments, respond to comments, form blog friendships with and support others, answer blogger questions, etc.....the ones who are a real "gem" in the bloggy world. The bloggy world wouldn't be the same without you!"

Thank you again Kathie. I love it.

I love having time off from work.

So my wonderful readers i am finally posting again. sorry that i have not done so lately because i have been so tired and drained from work. i know you can relate. i have had to do a lot of over time the past week but what the hell, its more money. i also have noticed some new followers recently. thats great. i want to thank all my followers for following me. its feels great to know that you're reading my blog.

So my day off was yesterday. wasnt sure what to do but after sleeping during the day (i work the overnight shift) and relaxing in the afternoon i felt pretty good and wanted to do something. had a night out planned with my boyfriend and another couple who are friends of ours. they live a bit far and we werent in the mood to drive that far but if they could go out then thats great. turns out they werent able to make it anyway so we're gonna hang out another time.

So not sure what to do i just suggested a movie. its been a while since we went to one. we wanted to do something simple and local. we saw Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince. i have to say that we thought this was a great movie. with every harry potter movie that comes out it gets better, more scary, more mature, more serious, and just as much fun to watch as always. i recommend anyone that hasnt see it yet to go see it. its amazing how far this series has gone. i cant believe this is the 6th movie and just one more is left. it will be sad to see the series end but its been great. i would say i cant wait to see the last one but i can since it will be the last one.

Anyway, we had a great time last night. after the movie we went somewhere near by and had some pizza. we love simple date nights. we just like to enjoy eachothers company, eat some good food, and overall have a good time. the only thing that would have been better would have been if we could have gone home together. we both live with friends at the moment. neither of us is making enought money yet to get a place together. soon enough. patience is important. well, that was how my night off went. its back to the rat race later tonight. not in the mood but, of course, have to. i just remind myself that i'm lucky to have a fulltime job in this economy and i feel better again. so, my wonderful readers, what do you like to do when you go out?

I got another award!

So i just found out today that i got another award. Yay for me! :) This award was given to me by Lyn Hernandez.

"The Humane Award is to honor certain bloggers that are kindhearted individuals who regularly take part in my blog and always leave comments :) This lovely award is to thank those individuals for their growing friendships through the blog world."

Thank you again Lyn Hernandez.

I got tagged, your turn!

So my fellow bloggers i have been tagged by one of my followers Ebony Haywood. She tagged me with "The Honest Scrap" award and i tag all my followers with it too.

1. “The Honest Scrap” award is not one to hold all to your self but it must be shared!
2. First, the recipient has to tell 10 true things about themselves in their blog that no one else knows.
3. Second, the recipient has to pass along this prestigious award to 10 more bloggers.
4. Third, those 10 bloggers all have to be notified they have been given with this award.
5. Those 10 bloggers that receive this award should link back to the blog that awarded them “The Honest Scrap’ award.

This sounds like fun. So, 10 things about myself, ok here we go:

1) I like food too much sometimes. I also kinda addicted to soda.

2) I think puppies and kittens are the cutest things ever.

3) I dont really get along with my family.

4) I love to get in my car (when i had one) and drive on the empty highway in the middle of the night playing relaxing music and just driving.

5) I love spending time with my friends eating, drinking (sodas mostly, i'm not that much into alcohol but enjoy a beer or mixed every now and then), playing board games, watch tv or movies and talking about good times.

6) I want to win the lottery but always forget to play.

7) I like going to school.

8) I hate when some people i know try to take advantage of me by trying to get my to drive them places or give them money if we go out but never want to do the same for me if i need it.

9) I cant stand being yelled at.

10) I'm a big kid at heart, i still love cartoons, playing games, eating candy, and all the other stuff that makes you feel good.

It's My 3 Month Job Anniversary!

For the past week i have been feeling a bit blah. just like the cute kitty in the picture, this is how i feel. kinda drained lately. it's a combo of different things but i'll be ok soon enough. but i just realized that i have been at my job for 3 months today. its a good feeling. my job is pretty good. there's a bar at my job and the bartenders are great. i became good friends with one of them.

As lucky and grateful as i feel that i have a job i also sometimes feel tired of it, and its only been 3 months. anyone else ever feel like this? i really am grateful that i have the job. when you havent worked in a year and a half of course you'll be grateful but i guess its like something my boyfriend says. he believes that i wasnt meant to work for anyone. i very much agree. i hate feeling ungrateful for the job, i really do. i guess you dont have to work long at a job to take its toll on you, especially when you work over night like i do. right now this job really is good for me. the late shift is the best one at my job, its calm, quiet, and i barely deal with people. the best part is that i never see my boss. its like its my own business and i'm in charge, which i am during my shift.

As far as not working for someone, that is my dream. i want to own a small business, or a few, and not have to work for someone else. i also see how employees get treated at jobs and i dont like it. i want to be different, i would like to be a good boss, i want to provide jobs that people want to work at and would enjoy with decent pay. thats one side, on the other, like anyone else i want to have the freedom of not having to go into work everyday and lettings others take care of it. of course i would handle my own business but want trustworthy people that can take care of things if i cant or dont want to work during a certain time.

How about everyone else, you ever feel like this? What are your dreams and goals? What do you want in your life that would make you happy and complete?

Happy 4th of July!

Happy 4th of July to everyone. Happy Birthday America, 233 years old today. As we all know everyone is gonna be out tonight eating, drinking, hanging out with friends, and of course, shooting fireworks. I love fireworks, every since i was a kid. I guess i'm still just a big kid and there's nothing wrong with that. Anyone that says different is just wrong. There's a different between being a kid at heart (me) and just being an immature adult.

BBQ's seem to be the most popular form of eating today. Everywhere is having one. My friends are throwing their own, my job is having one too, even some of my family is doing it also. I was planning to go up north, about 3-4 hours car trip, to stay at a friends having a (yeah, you guessed it) a bbq. He just got his first house a week ago so this is also his house warming party. And he has a pool too so its gonna be good. My boyfriend and i werent able to make it but we got invited by some other friends for dinner tonight and its nearby a major park that will be shooting fireworks after. I cant wait.

I want to thank all my followers for following my blog and to those that arent and wish everyone a great holiday today. Whatever you decide to do i hope everyone has fun.

Co-workers...cant live with them, sure as hell dont wanna work with them.

You know i really try to do my best at work and any job i have done but there is always something that happens. I'm sure anyone can relate. Especially when coworkers just dont care about doing the job right and it causes you problems. So yesterday at work i got called in the office by my manager and by the owner of the business. I figured this isnt good. I get lectured about not doing something right. 2 days ago one of the housekeepers called early in the morning (i was just about to get off work) and told me she was in the hospital and wouldnt be going in that day. Shes ok but wasnt feeling well and wanted to get checked out.

So i take the message. My coworkers and i have this log sheet where we write down what going on or messages the need to be passed down. Normally we write down whatever we need to and then before our relief comes in we reprint a new one with the new messages in there. Since i got the call at the last minute i couldnt reprint a new one, i had already logged out of the system. But i wrote the message down on a post it note and on the log sheet, i told my coworker about the situation and to tell her relief about it when they came in and to tell the manager also when she comes in a few hours later, and i even told her to reprint a new log sheet with the message. I even sent an email about it to the manager myself. The reason for emails is because we are required to send an email to the manager at the end of every shift to see if anything is going on. I try to cover my ass a much as possible.

So it turns out that her relief ended up having to do front desk duties plus housekeeping because no one knew of the situation. My relief had never reprinted a new log sheet she ended up throwing it away, she threw away the note too and didnt tell the manager or her relief. The manager didnt know only because she didnt feel like checking her email like she is supposed to when she came in. So because this one coworker didnt do something so simple i got lectured by the manager and the business owner because i was the one that got the phone call. This is not the first time she hasnt done her job. This particular coworker wont print other forms or envelopes that we need, she wont answer emails or take messages or calls. She admitted to us that she wont do it. I am finding this out from my other coworkers that feel the same about her. We are all irritated by her laziness. Seriously, wtf is that, we all have our job to do and she needs to do it like the rest of us. Its not a hard job but there are a lot of little things that need to be done. She has admitted that she dont care about the job, she is just there to have something to do and to have a little extra money in her pocket. Whatever. Well as far as i am concerned i no longer trust her and will just do whast i need to do to cover my ass. I am not risking a new job for nothing after having not worked for so long.

"The Good Die Young"

That old saying is so true in many cases. What a sad day when Michael Jackson, the "King of Pop", a legend, an icon, worldwide superstar, whatever you liked to call him, passed away. By the reaction all around the world we all know how much Michael was loved. This is a good moment for this post, i am actually watching 'The Jacksons' movie on tv right now. Michael was a great man that did a lot for many people around the world and has been through a lot himself. His music was an inspiration to me and many others.

There are some mixed feelings about Michael too. We know that many loved him and will miss him and i'm sure that there are those people that believe all of the allegations he had against him and are happy or dont care that he is gone. One of my co-workers said to me "are they still on Michael Jackson, whaetver, everyone just needs to get the fuck over it. Who cares, we all die someday anyway." I guess this is how her friends and family should feel when she dies. It may be true that we all die someday but damn how about a little respect for the people around you. Whether you liked Michael or not is your opinion, of course, but just have respect. Michael had friends and family just like the rest of us. I'm a big fan of Michael and so were the other people hanging around that heard her. I work in a hotel so the people that were near her in the lobby actually gave her dirty looks and got up and left. If some other famous person died that i hated but others are fans i would keep my mouth shut just out of respect for the people that can hear me.

It is kinda scary how all the celebrities died recently. Just today i heard the Billy Mayes died also. He's the guy that created the Oxi-clean products. My dog that i loved so much died back in 07 and i still miss her. I raised her her parents from puppies and then when she came out i helped raised her from birth. She was 15 when she passed and i was heartbroken over it. I had a friend that died back in 99 and i miss him too. He died in a car accident. Death for many is sad regardless. Some people will think that its a good thing because maybe the person was suffering or that being alive is hell and death is better than living. Either way i just think that its sad that when someone dies you wont see them again. Part of the fear of death is not knowing where we go after. There are religions that say this or that, theories, evidence (if you think its true) that shows ghosts and spirits, people that say nothing happens you just die and thats it. Death can be sad or happy depending on what you believe, but one thing i think we can all agree on is that death is one of the most mysterious things in this world.

Good ole days...

Any of you ever think back about your high school days. Sometimes i do and sometimes i dont. Other times i think about it too much. I went out to dinner with an old friend of mine recently. We got back in touch some months ago after finding eachother online. We have hung out several times since finding eachother again and we have caught up on so many memories. I dont know about anyone else but many times i have wished i could go back to high school and start over again from there. There are so many things i tried to do since then or tried to achieve and it just didnt happen no matter how hard i worked for it.

I dont know, maybe even if i could go back who's to say that things wouldnt have turned out the same, better, or worse. I have thought to myself maybe i should have done this or that and maybe i would be more successful now. I have learned that success is defined by you and no one else. If you are one of those people that like having a 9-5 type of job then that is success for you. If you are one of those people that have to have a big career like being a doctor or lawyer then that is success for you. Its kind of like that old saying about beauty, its in the eye of the beholder. For me success is more about being able to make money to live while still having the freedom to enjoy my life. Thats why i want to own my own business. I used to work in a ice cream dessert place and i loved it. I actually would like to have a business like that for myself. I'm more into the smaller retail type of business, not the big complicated corporate thing. I know business can keep you busy but thats ok. I would do it so i wouldnt have to work for someone else, but at the same time its not bad having a business to work at a little. That way you wont get too bored having nothing to do.

Basically on the part of not having done as much with my life as i wanted to do, its ok. I know what i want and even if it takes me longer i will achieve those goals. I have friends now that have the typical ingredients of what society says is successful; family, house, new cars, careers, etc. If you really think about that is not necessarily the success that people think it is. I read in a book years ago that there is no point in being jealous over what others have because wanting what they have means taking all the problems that come with it too. That is very true. My friends are not as successful as people think they may be, there is always more to the story. Some of them are doing well for themselves and that great, while others arent doing so good. One of my oldest friends is a real estate lawyer but has no work because of the current market. Others always complain about how they had their kids too early or are going through divorce now. Another friend of mine lost their house and another one cant afford their car anymore. I am just basically saying that people dont need to define themselves by what others deem successful. Yet unfortunately some people just had bad luck and unpredicatable circumstances that couldnt be helped. I am not trying to talk down about my friends but just making a point on how life can be and how it isnt what it seems. The grass is not always greener.

All in all, of my group of friends i am not the only one that wishes to go back to high school. It actually made me feel better about how i was thinking because for a time i thought i was the only one. Its awlays fun to go back and talk about good times and memories and stuff but dont dwell on them forever. People should move foward and work on achieving what they want and make their own goals. Dont forget the past though, it may be gone but its still a part of you and who you are. "Don't let your past dicate who you are but let it be part of who you will become."

I Hate Taking The Bus!

Anyone that has ever taken the bus might know what i am talking about. I am not talking about having to wait for the bus or not being able to find a seat or getting squished inbetween strangers. I am talking about the weird people that take the bus. To be more specific, i am talking about those weird people that just have to talk to you when you dont want to be bothered. I get this alot, especially from old guys. I dont know why, its weird. When i get on the bus i like to just sit by myself and listen to my radio and not be bothered.

Just last night i noticed this one guy get on and sit somewhere in the back. Then at the next stop a bunch of people get off and this same guy gets up and sits in the seat in front of me. Then he turns back in his seat to start talking to me. Let me tell you, this guy is not pleasant to talk to or to look at. He was older, 49, and looked terrible for his age. He was fat, ugly, bald, greasy, bad skin, and smelled. First of all, i am sleeping (not really but i pretend to so no one bothers me) and this guy purposely wakes me up. What the hell is that, seriously, that is very rude. The the guy starts talking to me. He asks the basic questions like whats my name and how i am and stuff like that. Of course i dont tell this guy my real name. He then starts asking me about what kind of music i like. After that he was getting persistant about using my cellphone earpiece so he can hear what i was listening to. Ew, that is nasty, either way i dont know this guy. Why the hell would i let him use something of mine that i put in my ear everyday. I refused to let him use it.

Then he starts asking me all sorts of other questions. Like my age, if i'm married, do i have kids, where do i live, where do i work. This guy is just getting too damn personal now. Is he trying to be my friend? Is he trying to hook up with me? What the hell. On the age question, i told him how old i was and he gives me a weird look and tells me "thats starnge." I ask him why and he tells me "well because you're ** and you dont have kids yet?" I hate when people act like if a women doesnt have kids by 21 or something like that then they are old maids. I tell him that its not weird, i dont want kids yet. Then, in what looks like some weird attempt to impress me or something he says, "well its no big deal, i'm 49, got divorced last year after 30 years of marriage, and still dont have any kids." Ok, and i am the weird one? Whatever. I dont care if someone never wants kids, its your life, but dont tell me that i am weird for not having them. I'm being smart by not having kids that i cannot afford to take care of or give them the life they should have just yet.

This guy actually asked me if loved my boyfriend and if he loved me, and other stupid nosy questions. Ok, this guy is just too much. Thankfully i was on my way to work and i work close to home so the bus right wasnt long. Also, thankfully, i am able to save most of my money and my first goal is to get a car again. I cant wait but have to be patient. It will come soon enough. Once that car comes i wont have to deal with these creepy bus people again. Most people on buses are just trying to get somewhere but there are always those few that just have to bother you. Well i doubt i will see him again but i was really disgusted by this guy. I am a very nice person but i will not go through that crap a second time. If i see him again and he tries to do the same thing i will tell him to leave me alone and move to another seat if i have to.