Fall is here...

Well its the 1st day of fall today. i am feeling good about that. today there also new season premieres on today. theres kitchen nightmares, ghost adventures, and more.

Also cant wait for the weather to change. would be nice for the days to be cooler. also fall is the start of the holidays. i love the holidays. i actually was hoping that my boyfriend and i couldve gotten married today. i thought being friday (our fav day of the week) and being the 1st day of fall (our fav season) it would have been a nice day to do so. and sept 23 is a nice date in my opinion too. sadly it didnt work out. oh well, thats ok. just gonna wait a little longer. not in a rush but it would be nice to marry the man i love already. i do have another date later this year in mind. maybe that will work out, we'll see. either way it would be better to have an apt together first anyway. still working on that and getting closer to it. i have done some more work to my car and its running great so thats another thing i have been able to get done and am feeling good about.

For now i have been taking better care of myself and have been getting dr check ups and obgyn check ups and had a dental exam recently too. the general health checkups are fine. i will be getting my full obgyn check up results too. dental is ok too but i do need a cleaning. well everyone does after a while. i will mention the other check ups i plan to do in a future post. for now of course i wanted to see how i am healthwise and i am ok. as for the obgyn check ups, of course as a woman i wanna see how i am but also make sure i am ok to have kids in the future. especially since my boyfriend wants kids. it seems like i am going to get harassed about it for a while until i do. my boyfriend has wanted kids for years. for some years my mom has been bothering me about grand kids and has gotten more annoying over time, even more now b/c my best friend. i recently found out my boyfriends mom asked him about when we finally gonna have kids. everyone is starting to piss me off. i am not ready yet and dont have anything ready for a kid anyway. no apt, no money saved, not married, etc. sorry but i have never believed in that way of thinking that many people have about how you can never really be ready for a kid. well maybe not completely mentally ready but for me as far as financially (money), physically (losing weight), being stable (having a place to live), fun (travel a little and live a little bit more), etc people can be ready before hand. at least i plan to, despite how everyone is harassing me or whatever baby signs i have been seeing since last year. and i have found it to be bs and many of the people i know that ended up having kids that way is b/c they allowed their emotional side to take over and they regretted it. i dont want to regret having kids.

As far as my last post. i know that i probably sounded crazy with as much as i wrote. hell i seem to have written a little too much in this post too, lol. gotta love blogs, great way to let out whatever you're feeling. i just had so much to let out. i am feeling better about kids lately. my best friend recently had her baby not long ago. i went to visit her at the hospital. i didnt hear from her the day the baby was born b/c she was in bad shape. she ended up having a c-section, and was given meds for pain. she really didnt want to but the baby couldnt fit through her pelvis. she was dead set on no c-section but i did warn her months ago to at least keep it in mind just in case b/c she is very thin woman and its likely to happen. and it happened, she didnt listen to me and now reality has hit her. now whats funny is that she says is at when she has her 2nd kid (at least 3 or more years form now) she try to have a natural birth (its possible after a c-section) and if after 2 or 3 hours of trying then she just tell the doctors to give her a c-section if she cant have the baby naturally. she would have had 3-4 kids if they she could have them all naturally but even the doctor told her that natural births are not for her and he doesnt recommend it. so it looks like she will likely just have 2. i love her baby and all (i did the moment i saw her) but sadly the baby was born with a deformity, its minor though and can be easily fixed. i personally think that how she had the c-section and all the pain and swelling she went through and the baby's deformity was all karma coming back at her. she had a baby in an environment of selfishness and laziness in my opinion and thats why i think its happened the way it did. i even had visions and dreams of it. if you havent read my last post read it and you'll know why i am saying what i'm saying.

Well thats my rant and rave for now i guess. i know sometimes i post more frequently than others times and if i take too long i am sorry but at times i am just busy or too tired (mostly from work) to post something even when i want to. i cant wait for the day my boyfriend and i can get a business going and no longer have to work. til then just gonna do what we gotta do and enjoy life as much as possible at the same time.