As you can see from the pic today is my birthday. i am kinda happy about celebrating but then again still a little sad about what has been going on in my life. my last post is all about that. gonna go out with a few close friends tonight for dinner and hopefully a movie and more but we'll see how it goes. it is a weekday after all and a work and/or school day for most. sadly my bf as usual wont go out b/c of the baby. i expected that so i'm not surprised. hopefully we can hang out for a bit tomorrow since she will be traveling again on friday for months. my man is still outta town so i really am sad about that. he might not be back until the weekend or next week and my bday is today but his is on friday. i was hoping we would be able to be together for these next few days but i guess its too much too ask lately to be with the 2 people i love the most, my man and my best friend. well anyway despite whats been going on i will still try to be positive and have a great time with my friends tonight. its great to have close friends in your life.

hello everyone. i know it has been months since i have posted anything. i noticed many of the bloggers i follow have done the same. i didnt even realize it until recently. i have however been keeping up and reading the blogs that i follow even if i havent commented much. 

the job is the same as usual. more events have been going on during these months so most of the time things have been full and busy at work. which is good in a way. it means the job is still there.

things between my best friend and i, well, sadly nothing has changed. i thought we would have gone out today but no, she canceled on me. i had a feeling it wouldnt happen. she feels she needs to be with her kid 24/7 just b/c the kid has a bad rash. her mom or husband (yeah he is in town at the moment) are home and can babysit. my friend feels like she is the only one that can take care of her. ok if thats what she feels that she needs to do then ok fine. i know shes a new mom and she feels she needs to do this but this is exactly what i was afraid of. i knew that as soon as she had a kid that i would barely see her. i dont even care to hang out with her much anymore. i just pretty much got over it and have lost the excited feelings i used to have when we would hang out anyday or anytime. i know u gotta take care of ur kids but i hate how people change when they have them.

as far as my love life is concerned, well, i dont know. my man is outta town right now visiting family (although when hes back home he is still working alot). i miss him. sadly i recently got some info that i need to speak to him about but have to wait til he comes back home. i have to talk to him in person. i dont know for sure if this info is true or not but i hope, wish, and most of all am praying to God that its not. it hard to deal with this info at the moment but i am a patient person and would rather give benefit of the doubt first just in case. how serious is this info u ask, well, if its true it will be the reason for me to have to leave him after many years together. i am very saddened by this and have been depressed over it (hence the pic at the top). in case you are wondering if there is any chance i could forgive him after being together 12 years (the 1 friend i told about this asked. hes a friend of both of us), NO, there is not.  if this info is true then this will be something i warned him about years ago and it is an unforgivable act to me b/c i consider it  a betrayal to me. at this time i am not saying what it is exactly, but im sure after a guess or 2 some of you might already know what it is anyway. mainly just in case its not true i dont wanna say what it is just yet. i dont know when i will talk to him but the sooner the better.