"The Good Die Young"

That old saying is so true in many cases. What a sad day when Michael Jackson, the "King of Pop", a legend, an icon, worldwide superstar, whatever you liked to call him, passed away. By the reaction all around the world we all know how much Michael was loved. This is a good moment for this post, i am actually watching 'The Jacksons' movie on tv right now. Michael was a great man that did a lot for many people around the world and has been through a lot himself. His music was an inspiration to me and many others.

There are some mixed feelings about Michael too. We know that many loved him and will miss him and i'm sure that there are those people that believe all of the allegations he had against him and are happy or dont care that he is gone. One of my co-workers said to me "are they still on Michael Jackson, whaetver, everyone just needs to get the fuck over it. Who cares, we all die someday anyway." I guess this is how her friends and family should feel when she dies. It may be true that we all die someday but damn how about a little respect for the people around you. Whether you liked Michael or not is your opinion, of course, but just have respect. Michael had friends and family just like the rest of us. I'm a big fan of Michael and so were the other people hanging around that heard her. I work in a hotel so the people that were near her in the lobby actually gave her dirty looks and got up and left. If some other famous person died that i hated but others are fans i would keep my mouth shut just out of respect for the people that can hear me.

It is kinda scary how all the celebrities died recently. Just today i heard the Billy Mayes died also. He's the guy that created the Oxi-clean products. My dog that i loved so much died back in 07 and i still miss her. I raised her her parents from puppies and then when she came out i helped raised her from birth. She was 15 when she passed and i was heartbroken over it. I had a friend that died back in 99 and i miss him too. He died in a car accident. Death for many is sad regardless. Some people will think that its a good thing because maybe the person was suffering or that being alive is hell and death is better than living. Either way i just think that its sad that when someone dies you wont see them again. Part of the fear of death is not knowing where we go after. There are religions that say this or that, theories, evidence (if you think its true) that shows ghosts and spirits, people that say nothing happens you just die and thats it. Death can be sad or happy depending on what you believe, but one thing i think we can all agree on is that death is one of the most mysterious things in this world.

Good ole days...

Any of you ever think back about your high school days. Sometimes i do and sometimes i dont. Other times i think about it too much. I went out to dinner with an old friend of mine recently. We got back in touch some months ago after finding eachother online. We have hung out several times since finding eachother again and we have caught up on so many memories. I dont know about anyone else but many times i have wished i could go back to high school and start over again from there. There are so many things i tried to do since then or tried to achieve and it just didnt happen no matter how hard i worked for it.

I dont know, maybe even if i could go back who's to say that things wouldnt have turned out the same, better, or worse. I have thought to myself maybe i should have done this or that and maybe i would be more successful now. I have learned that success is defined by you and no one else. If you are one of those people that like having a 9-5 type of job then that is success for you. If you are one of those people that have to have a big career like being a doctor or lawyer then that is success for you. Its kind of like that old saying about beauty, its in the eye of the beholder. For me success is more about being able to make money to live while still having the freedom to enjoy my life. Thats why i want to own my own business. I used to work in a ice cream dessert place and i loved it. I actually would like to have a business like that for myself. I'm more into the smaller retail type of business, not the big complicated corporate thing. I know business can keep you busy but thats ok. I would do it so i wouldnt have to work for someone else, but at the same time its not bad having a business to work at a little. That way you wont get too bored having nothing to do.

Basically on the part of not having done as much with my life as i wanted to do, its ok. I know what i want and even if it takes me longer i will achieve those goals. I have friends now that have the typical ingredients of what society says is successful; family, house, new cars, careers, etc. If you really think about that is not necessarily the success that people think it is. I read in a book years ago that there is no point in being jealous over what others have because wanting what they have means taking all the problems that come with it too. That is very true. My friends are not as successful as people think they may be, there is always more to the story. Some of them are doing well for themselves and that great, while others arent doing so good. One of my oldest friends is a real estate lawyer but has no work because of the current market. Others always complain about how they had their kids too early or are going through divorce now. Another friend of mine lost their house and another one cant afford their car anymore. I am just basically saying that people dont need to define themselves by what others deem successful. Yet unfortunately some people just had bad luck and unpredicatable circumstances that couldnt be helped. I am not trying to talk down about my friends but just making a point on how life can be and how it isnt what it seems. The grass is not always greener.

All in all, of my group of friends i am not the only one that wishes to go back to high school. It actually made me feel better about how i was thinking because for a time i thought i was the only one. Its awlays fun to go back and talk about good times and memories and stuff but dont dwell on them forever. People should move foward and work on achieving what they want and make their own goals. Dont forget the past though, it may be gone but its still a part of you and who you are. "Don't let your past dicate who you are but let it be part of who you will become."

I Hate Taking The Bus!

Anyone that has ever taken the bus might know what i am talking about. I am not talking about having to wait for the bus or not being able to find a seat or getting squished inbetween strangers. I am talking about the weird people that take the bus. To be more specific, i am talking about those weird people that just have to talk to you when you dont want to be bothered. I get this alot, especially from old guys. I dont know why, its weird. When i get on the bus i like to just sit by myself and listen to my radio and not be bothered.

Just last night i noticed this one guy get on and sit somewhere in the back. Then at the next stop a bunch of people get off and this same guy gets up and sits in the seat in front of me. Then he turns back in his seat to start talking to me. Let me tell you, this guy is not pleasant to talk to or to look at. He was older, 49, and looked terrible for his age. He was fat, ugly, bald, greasy, bad skin, and smelled. First of all, i am sleeping (not really but i pretend to so no one bothers me) and this guy purposely wakes me up. What the hell is that, seriously, that is very rude. The the guy starts talking to me. He asks the basic questions like whats my name and how i am and stuff like that. Of course i dont tell this guy my real name. He then starts asking me about what kind of music i like. After that he was getting persistant about using my cellphone earpiece so he can hear what i was listening to. Ew, that is nasty, either way i dont know this guy. Why the hell would i let him use something of mine that i put in my ear everyday. I refused to let him use it.

Then he starts asking me all sorts of other questions. Like my age, if i'm married, do i have kids, where do i live, where do i work. This guy is just getting too damn personal now. Is he trying to be my friend? Is he trying to hook up with me? What the hell. On the age question, i told him how old i was and he gives me a weird look and tells me "thats starnge." I ask him why and he tells me "well because you're ** and you dont have kids yet?" I hate when people act like if a women doesnt have kids by 21 or something like that then they are old maids. I tell him that its not weird, i dont want kids yet. Then, in what looks like some weird attempt to impress me or something he says, "well its no big deal, i'm 49, got divorced last year after 30 years of marriage, and still dont have any kids." Ok, and i am the weird one? Whatever. I dont care if someone never wants kids, its your life, but dont tell me that i am weird for not having them. I'm being smart by not having kids that i cannot afford to take care of or give them the life they should have just yet.

This guy actually asked me if loved my boyfriend and if he loved me, and other stupid nosy questions. Ok, this guy is just too much. Thankfully i was on my way to work and i work close to home so the bus right wasnt long. Also, thankfully, i am able to save most of my money and my first goal is to get a car again. I cant wait but have to be patient. It will come soon enough. Once that car comes i wont have to deal with these creepy bus people again. Most people on buses are just trying to get somewhere but there are always those few that just have to bother you. Well i doubt i will see him again but i was really disgusted by this guy. I am a very nice person but i will not go through that crap a second time. If i see him again and he tries to do the same thing i will tell him to leave me alone and move to another seat if i have to.